How to Get Over a Crush: Expert Advice for Moving Forward

Whether you’re nursing a one-sided attraction or recovering from an unrequited love, getting over a crush can feel emotionally exhausting. The constant replaying of memories, the hope that things might change, and the persistent daydreams about a future that may never happen can drain your mental energy and prevent you from living fully in the present. But here’s the good news: with intentional strategies and self-compassion, you absolutely can move past these feelings and reclaim your emotional well-being.

This guide provides practical, evidence-based advice from relationship experts and psychologists on how to navigate the challenging process of letting go. Whether your crush is a coworker, friend, or someone you’ve never even spoken to, these strategies will help you process your emotions, break unhealthy patterns, and rebuild your confidence.

Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment

The first step in getting over a crush is giving yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise—sadness, anger, frustration, or even relief. Many people make the mistake of trying to suppress or dismiss their feelings, which actually prolongs the healing process. Instead, practice mindful acknowledgment by sitting with your emotions without trying to fix or change them immediately.

Write in a journal about what you’re feeling. Describe the specific moments that triggered sadness, the qualities you admired in your crush, and what you were hoping would happen. This process, known as emotional processing, helps your brain work through the attachment and gradually reduces the emotional charge associated with the person.

Remember that having a crush is a normal human experience, regardless of age or relationship status. You’re not weak or foolish for developing feelings—you’re human. The key is how you respond to those feelings. According to Psychology Today, acknowledging emotions reduces their power over us, while suppressing them tends to amplify anxiety and depression.

Create Physical and Emotional Distance

One of the most effective strategies for moving on is creating separation between yourself and your crush. This doesn’t necessarily mean cutting them out of your life permanently, but it does mean being intentional about limiting contact during the healing phase.

If possible, minimize in-person interactions. If you work together or share friend groups, be cordial but don’t seek them out. Avoid sitting near them, volunteering for projects together, or finding reasons to start conversations. Each interaction resets your emotional attachment clock, making it harder to move forward.

If your crush is someone you can realistically avoid for a period of time, do so for at least 30-60 days. This timeframe allows your brain chemistry to recalibrate. When we interact with someone we’re attracted to, our brains release dopamine, creating a reward cycle similar to addiction. Breaking this cycle requires consistent distance.

Emotional distance means not thinking about them obsessively or imagining scenarios where you end up together. When intrusive thoughts about your crush appear—and they will—acknowledge them without engaging. Think of them like clouds passing through the sky: notice them, but don’t hold onto them.

Remove Reminders and Digital Connections

In today’s digital age, maintaining a crush is easier than ever. Social media, text messages, and shared digital spaces keep the person perpetually present in your life. To accelerate healing, you need to be ruthless about eliminating these reminders.

Unfollow or mute your crush on all social media platforms. You don’t need to unfriend them publicly, but removing their content from your feed prevents constant exposure. Seeing their photos, stories, and updates keeps them mentally active and triggers the dopamine reward cycle.

Delete text conversations or at least archive them so they’re not visible. Remove any photos you have of them, and if you have shared playlists or saved items, clean those up too. This might seem harsh, but these digital artifacts are like removing stubborn attachments—sometimes a clean break is necessary for proper healing.

If you’re tempted to check their social media, consider using apps that block access to specific websites during certain hours. Make it inconvenient to look them up, so your automatic impulse to check on them requires conscious effort you can resist.

Avoid sending messages “just to check in” or liking their posts. These actions often stem from hoping for a response that will rekindle the connection, which keeps you emotionally stuck.

Invest in Self-Care and Personal Growth

Heartbreak creates an emotional void, and the temptation is to fill it by obsessing about your crush. Instead, intentionally fill that space with genuine self-care. This isn’t about bubble baths and candles (though those are fine)—it’s about taking actions that make you feel capable and proud of yourself.

Prioritize sleep, nutrition, and exercise. When we’re emotionally distressed, we often neglect basic self-care, which amplifies negative emotions. Getting eight hours of sleep, eating balanced meals, and moving your body for at least 30 minutes daily significantly improves mood and resilience.

Consider therapy or counseling, especially if this isn’t your first time struggling with unrequited feelings. A professional can help you understand patterns in your attachments and develop healthier relationship expectations. Many therapists specialize in attachment theory and can provide tools specific to your situation.

Invest in personal development. Learn a new skill, take an online course, read books that inspire you, or develop expertise in something you’re passionate about. As you grow and accomplish goals, your sense of self-worth becomes less dependent on external validation from a crush.

Redirect Your Energy Into New Hobbies

The brain has limited cognitive resources. When you’re obsessing about a crush, you’re using mental energy that could go toward activities that bring genuine fulfillment. Redirect that focus into hobbies and interests that make you feel alive and engaged.

If you’ve been neglecting hobbies, now is the time to resurrect them. Whether it’s painting, hiking, cooking, gaming, or sports, engage in activities that require your full attention and produce a sense of flow. These activities naturally reduce rumination and provide healthy dopamine hits that don’t depend on another person.

Join clubs or groups related to your interests. This serves multiple purposes: you meet new people, you build community, and you create a life that’s so fulfilling that you don’t have space for obsessive thoughts. Plus, meeting new people—whether romantically or platonically—expands your perspective and reminds you that your crush isn’t your only source of connection.

Set specific, measurable goals related to your hobbies. Instead of vague intentions, commit to concrete actions: “I will attend the climbing gym three times per week” or “I will finish writing one short story this month.” Having goals gives your brain something productive to focus on.

Lean on Your Support System

Don’t isolate yourself during this difficult period. Your friends and family are valuable resources for emotional support and perspective. Reach out to people you trust and be honest about what you’re going through.

A good support system will:

• Listen without judgment or trying to “fix” your feelings
• Remind you of your worth and the qualities that make you amazing
• Distract you with activities and social engagement
• Gently challenge you if you’re romanticizing the person or making excuses for them
• Celebrate your progress as you heal

Be specific about what you need. Rather than vague requests for support, tell friends: “I need to talk about this for 20 minutes, then I’d like to be distracted” or “Please don’t let me text them—take my phone if necessary.” Clear communication helps your support system actually support you effectively.

Consider joining support groups or online communities where people share similar experiences. Knowing you’re not alone in this struggle is remarkably comforting, and hearing how others have moved past crushes provides hope and practical strategies.

Challenge Idealized Thinking Patterns

One reason crushes are so hard to get over is that we’ve constructed an idealized version of the person in our minds. We focus on their positive qualities while minimizing or ignoring their flaws. This mental image bears little resemblance to the actual human being.

Practice cognitive reframing by consciously listing the person’s actual characteristics, including their weaknesses. Did they forget your birthday? Did they make insensitive comments? Were they emotionally unavailable? Did they have habits that annoyed you? Write these down alongside their positive qualities.

Recognize the difference between who they actually are and who you imagined them to be. The version of them you’re in love with might be more fantasy than reality. This isn’t about being cruel—it’s about seeing the complete picture.

Also examine what attracted you to this person. Sometimes crushes are less about the individual and more about what they represent: confidence, creativity, status, or qualities we wish we possessed. If you can identify what you were really seeking, you can work on developing those qualities within yourself rather than depending on another person to provide them.

Set Healthy Boundaries for Future Interactions

Eventually, you may find yourself in situations where you encounter your crush again. Before that happens, establish clear boundaries about how you’ll interact with them. These boundaries protect your emotional health and prevent regression in your healing.

Decide in advance what you will and won’t do:

• Will you engage in one-on-one conversations or only group settings?
• How long will you maintain distance before considering casual friendship?
• What topics are off-limits?
• How will you respond if they reach out to you?
• What’s your exit strategy if you feel emotionally triggered?

Having these decisions made beforehand removes the emotional weight from in-the-moment decisions when you might be vulnerable. Like dissolving stubborn adhesives, moving past a crush requires patience and the right approach—rushing back into contact before you’re ready can undo all your progress.

Remember that protecting your peace isn’t selfish; it’s necessary self-preservation. You can be kind and civil to someone while maintaining emotional distance.

FAQ

How long does it take to get over a crush?

There’s no universal timeline, but research suggests that most people begin to feel significantly better within 3-6 months of consistent distance and active healing work. However, some people may need longer, and that’s okay. The key is consistent progress rather than a specific deadline. Factors like the intensity of the crush, how long you knew the person, and whether there was mutual interaction all affect the timeline.

Is it possible to stay friends with someone after having a crush on them?

Yes, but it requires time and genuine emotional healing first. Trying to be friends immediately after a crush usually means you’re still hoping things might change. Wait until you can genuinely enjoy their company without romantic feelings or resentment. This typically takes several months of distance. When you do reconnect, make sure you’re doing it for authentic friendship, not as a way to stay connected to them.

What if I see my crush unexpectedly?

Stay calm and be cordial. A brief, friendly greeting is appropriate, but don’t extend the interaction. Excuse yourself politely and move on. Afterward, you might feel triggered or sad—that’s normal. Reach out to your support system, engage in a grounding activity, and remind yourself of your progress. One interaction won’t undo your healing unless you let it.

Should I tell my crush how I feel?

This depends on your specific situation. If you haven’t told them and have been hoping they’ll somehow read your mind, confessing might provide closure. However, if you’re confessing hoping they’ll reciprocate or suddenly develop feelings, it’s not a healthy reason. The confession should be for your own emotional clarity, not to change their feelings. Be prepared for any response, including rejection, and have a plan for how you’ll handle that emotionally.

How do I stop thinking about my crush?

You can’t force yourself to stop thinking about them, but you can reduce the frequency through distance, removing reminders, and redirecting your attention. When intrusive thoughts appear, acknowledge them without judgment and gently redirect your focus to something else. Over time, with consistent effort, the thoughts naturally decrease in frequency and intensity as new neural pathways develop and the dopamine reward cycle breaks.

Is it normal to have setbacks while getting over a crush?

Absolutely. Healing isn’t linear. You might feel fine for weeks, then suddenly feel devastated after seeing their name pop up or hearing a song that reminds you of them. These setbacks are normal and don’t mean you’ve failed. Treat them with self-compassion, engage your coping strategies, and remember that overall you’re still making progress. Each setback typically becomes shorter and less intense as time passes.